Wednesday 14 November 2007

Strange bookshops

(For the record, the following does not relate to anything in the real world - not IT, not operating systems, and it's not even remotely related to installation procedures for software. The metaphors are completely fair and accurate, thus they do not necessarily reflect my personal opinion; I'm not making any subjective statements or suggestions.)

Shop 1

D: Hi Gene, can you get a book for me, please?
G: Hold on.

[Ten minutes later.]

G: Yes?
D: Oh, you know my style. You take a pick.
G: Moment...

[One minute later.]

G: OK. Maybe the one over there?
D: Great. I take it then.
G: Actually, the pages are blank. I need to fill them in first.
D: Uhhhhh, OK...

[One hour later.]

G: Here you are.
D: There's only one chapter here!
G: Oh, I'm sorry, I got confused. Try the other one in the shelf, it's a mass-produced copy.
D: Why didn't you just tell me?!
G: You didn't ask!

Shop 2

D: Uberto! Hi, I need the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
U: I'm sorry, I'm not in the mood.
D: I don't understand what you're saying, but I really need it.
U: OK, whatever.

[Pause]

U: Yeah, well, you know, I was getting some other books for you right now, and I would just mix everything up.
D: So do it after that!
U: I don't know what you mean.
D: ...

[Pause]

D: Are you getting the book or not?
U: Oh, I just finished with the other stuff. Sure thing, man.

Shop 3

D: Good morning, Winnie. How do I go about finding some books?
W: I have no idea.
D: What?!
W: Find them yourself!
D: Hmpf!

[Some time later...]

D: Here it is - YOU & NICK'S HATERS Handbook.
W: Oh, I like that one! It'll be 50 Euros.
D: What?!
W: Per year.
D: ...
W: Well?
D: I could get a very similar book for free elsewhere.
W: No, no, they're no good. You must use this one.
D: Mrrff... Bah, I don't care anymore, it's not me who'd pay anyway...
W: Good. But any book can be dangerous, you know? Are you sure you want it?
D: I just paid for it!
W: Right. Here's a few pages of rules about using this book.
D: OK, but I know nothing about this. Why are you showing this to me NOW? I already gave you some money, just let me read it!
W: I'm sorry, you need to study this thing closely before reading the book.
D: There, I put it in the tr... I mean, I got it.
W: Right. In which room do you want to read it? In the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom...?
D: Are you nuts?!
W: What do you mean?
D: Just. Give. Me. The. Book.
W: I guess you're OK with having it in the living room then?
D: GIVE. ME. THE. BOOK.
W: Fine. Do you want some bookmarks with it?
D: NO!!
W: Here you go. See you soon!

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